12.19.13.4.4 12 Kan 17 Pop (manifestation portal)
I am thinking about turning this blog into just a daily blurb on the calendar and offering it for syndication. That means I'd go back to these slightly off-topic discussions on the OFS blog.
It's not that I get a HUGE amount of visitors who will be confused if I do that.
I was looking for a picture of Gwennie (found a great one, it's below) and I found Goober's baby album. I just sat and cried. If you are thinking that I am extreme to still be crying a month later, please look at these pictures of my baby, my first baby ever, and tell me they don't make you weep to think she's dead.
Anyway, I also put up a bunch of pictures onto my 360 page. Or at least I think I did. I made several albums but only 2 are showing. Have to look into that.
12.19.13.4.3 11 Akbal 16 Pop
The vet finally called back yesterday. There was an emergency with a dog hit by a car.
Zen has high/normal counts for his liver, 1 kidney, and his thyroid. The vet said he was going to send out another sample of blood for another thyroid test. I looked up the symptoms of thyroid problems in cats (ironically, it said Siamese cats are LESS likely to have thyroid problems; guess Zen's thyroid gene came from his non-Siamese dad) and they do match how he's been lately. It's not a death sentence like some other diseases I was worried about. Daily pills (oh, he's gonna love that) for the rest of his life, surgery or radiation are the options. The radiation is a 100% cure but I'd have to give my kitty up for 2 months and I couldn't do that. He would be so unhappy locked in a cage in a strange place for that long. Not to mention the cost. So I'll know those test results in 2-3 days. I guess one option is a few months of pills followed by surgery. That's probably what I'll do.
This morning I was walking out to my car when I saw something underneath it. As in, a part hanging down. I know my car hasn't suddenly grown a penis, although it sure looks like that. I think it's the exhaust. It's up in front under the engine. It's driving okay but I'm worried that if that piece totally rips off something important will come off with it. I have therapy tonight in West Hartford and then an Astrological Society meeting after that. So I borrowed my mom's car. It's the same as my husband's, only red.
Then when I got to work I found out that my bottle of chocolate milk had leaked in my purse all over my cell phone and the magazine I brought to give to someone and all my stuff. Yuck. Nothing smells worse than sour milk.
Akbal, darkness and secrets. I was psyched about today being an Akbal day cuz I'm an Akbal but I just feel kicked in the pants.
Okay, I have to buckle down and admit my cat is sick. I hate it. I lost two birds in 7 months. I can't lose my Zen-Zen too. But he's lost over 2 lbs in the last year (went from 14 and change to 12.1). He's been puking, which isn't new. And limping, which is. I'm sure that it's just his stupid allergies. They cause this systemic inflammation which shows up in odd ways. Swollen or cracked paws. Scabs on the back of his legs (running in a line like an old fashioned stocking; they're called granulomas). Swollen chin (which he has now), swollen head. Usually the vet just gives him a cortisone shot and once in a while some pills too.
I took him to the vet yesterday. The vet was concerned that he was panting and his heart was racing, plus the weight loss. Well, #1 he hates the car #2 he hates the vet #3 we were left waiting in the office for half an hour while the poor cat got more and more hysterical. He doesn't pant like that at home.
So I looked up his symptoms and if it's not his allergy thing, it could be his thyroid, which seems pretty fixable. I was supposed to hear from the vet a half hour ago. I'm making myself sick over this. I need to know. When I know, I can act.
I know death is the way of the world. But I've had my share lately. And my dad's state hangs over me constantly as well. Plus my weight, my bad job, my debt--I have enough stress on me. I'm going to be the one getting sick next.
Two articles caught my eye today, both concerning Florida. One is the plight of an island where the Bush family has a vacation home (oh wah for them) which is overrun by iguanas. 12,000 of them. I happen to think iguanas are pretty cool. If you look through my vacation pictures, every time I see an iguana, I take a picture of it. At Tulum they were everywhere, sunning themselves on the buildings. You know I try to catch them too. But the residents of this island are catching and torturing the iguanas. How the hell does torturing a dump reptile teach it anything? The picture is cropped from that article.
I like iguanas. One of the Deep Ones novels I wrote had an iguana named Izzy Pop as a central character. When I stayed in Florida 3 years ago for my shaman training, I thought the little lizards in the bungalow we were in were awesome. (And then one day we came in to find a random cat asleep in our bed--that was strange.)
12.19.13.4.2 10 Ik 15 Pop
Apocalypto is delayed until December 8 due to heavy rains where the movie's being shot. :(
First off, I can't believe I'm eager to see a Mel Gibson movie after that Passion snuff film. (No I didn't see it--why would I want to see someone being tortured? If I want that, I'll rent Hostel. Or Saw II.)
Anyway, CNN.com said so this morning.
12.19.13.3.16 4 Cib 9 Pop
The other day I was driving away from work. The parking lot is kind of dirty; there's been construction lately. There was a ball of leaves or dirt slowly blowing across the lot as I was driving past. For some reason I took a second look and it was a turtle! A little painted turtle, lost in the big bad parking lot. I stopped my car and walked over to it. It looked at me and hid in its shell. I picked it up and carried it across the lot to where there's a kind of ditch with water and cat tails. Unfortunately the edges of the ditch were too steep for me to walk down so I had to toss mr turtle (gently) into the water. Better than getting run over by a truck.
First off, the world isn’t going to end in 2012.
It’s already over. I’d say it died in the late 80’s or early 90’s.
What we’re living in now is the birth pangs, the labor, of our new world being born.
The “end date” of 12-21-2012 (the Winter Solstice) comes from the Mayan Long Count calendar. Without getting into huge detail on how the calendar works (that will be another article), the Long Count date on 12-21-2012 is 13.00.00.00.00. Definitely a number to make you say “hmm—What’s up with that?”
And indeed, something is happening on that date, no matter whose calendar you use to track it.
Due to the precession of the equinoxes (yet another article), every day the sun comes up in a slightly different place. We don’t see this because of how slow it moves (it’s a 26,000 year cycle), but it’s happening. On the morning of the Winter Solstice of 2012, the Milky Way will be at the horizon. And the sun as it rises will go through the dark area.
12.19.13.3.10 11 Oc 3 Pop (day 50 of 260) portal/burner
2450 days until 12-21-2012
Today's one of those rare fish, a portal/burner combo. There's only two per Tzolkin-- 11 Men is the next one, on June 11th.
And it's OC -- Oc is your faithful companion, your guide dog, your guardian angel, your spirit guide.
Of course, since we're in the first half of the calendar, it's a manifestation day. And I thought I had it nailed with a job interview today. Just about the salary I'm looking for, and although it's a 60 mile drive (EACH way) they were going to let me telecommute part time. Nailed!
The lady calls for the phone interview. The salary is $10K a year LESS than what I was told by the other person, and the telecommuting is only 1 day a week and they're begrudging that. I had already calculated that it would cost me over $500 a month just in gas to have to job. Plus I'd have to buy a new car; my pathfinder's at 125,000 miles and it's 12 years old next month. I couldn't afford a new car on what's left over. Damn it.
I also think my leg wound is getting infected in spite of the fact that I put a new bandage on 2x a day with fresh antibiotic goop.
But I'm thinner so the world MUST be a better place, right?
Tonight shortly after midnight, the time will be:
01:02:03 04/05/06
pretty fun, huh?
But of course, for the people in Europe who write their dates backward, it won't happen until May 4th.
Today's the Mayan New Year's day, right. So the metaphysical thing to do is set up your intention for the coming year with what you do today.
I don't want to have dirty birdcages. So I decided to corral my two litle Perfect Lorikeets in a spare cage (which is plenty big enough for them, just smaller than their usual cage), then take their putrid disgusting cage (which hasn't been washed since November) outside. It's been raining so I figured the rain could soften up the encrustations until I had time and energy to actually scrub.
Step one, always fun: catch the little buggers. First I tried with the towel. That's a joke. Then I found the net. As soon as I entered the bird room with the net, four birds started shrieking at top volume. They all know and hate The Net. The Net means The Car and The Vet and for the Lance and Zeebo, lots of stress-related epileptic seizures. I capture the two Perfects with a minimum of fuss, get them into the smaller cage, and take apart the big cage, take out the dirty paper, remove their toys, food and water to the new cage, etc. I take the top part of the cage and start carrying it outside.
It gets stuck in the door, but I'm not expecting that so I keep moving forward. The door flaps down and the sharp metal edge rips into me. I get the cage outside and come back in to get the bottom half. But my leg is starting to hurt and I've got that drippy feeling, so I roll up my pants leg and find that horrible black blood just running down my right calf from two really deep puncture wounds. Thought one: this is gonna get wickedly infected; that cage is FILTHY. Thought two: when did I last have a tetanus shot? I call the doctor's office and they don't show a tenatus shot (I had one in high school, can't remember having one since). The receptionist tells me to go to the emergency room. I refuse so she squeezes me in to come immediately.
The good news is that I've lost at least 23 lbs in the last month (diet, exercise, amphetamines).
The bad news is that by the time the doctor saw me, only about 45 minutes after the injury, my leg was already swelling. And it was my GOOD leg. So I'm limping on both legs like Quasimodo. And I can't work out until Friday or when the wound is "dry" which I guess means scabbed.
Happy New Year!
12.19.13.3.7 8 Manik 0 Pop Happy new year!
I am still so very sad over losing Goober. I can't remember how long I kept crying over her mother, Scarlett. It was the same thing-a seemingly healthy bird one day, a dead bird the next. Scarlett was only 6 years old when she died in 1994. Goober was 4 then, and still considered a "he" because "he" didn't lay "his" first egg until 1996. (Thus becoming a "she" and becoming informally known as "Goobette" which is truly awful--my husband called her that.)
After Scarlett died, there was this song, "It Won't Rain All The Time" off The Crow soundtrack, which I used to listen to and just cry and cry for my beautiful red bird.
"When I'm lonely, I lay awake at night, and I wish you were here. I miss you. Can you tell me-Is there something more to believe in? Or is this all there is? It won't rain all the time, the sky won't fall forever and though the night seems long your tears won't fall forever."
I thought the first time I heard it (it's on my Launchcast station) after Goober died that I would lose it. And it is still sad. But it was the Annie Lenox song from Lord of the Rings Return of the King which makes me just cry and cry, even at work. (Of course, also on my Launchcast station.) If you've seen Return of the King, the song is about when Frodo is getting on the ship and leaving Middle Earth--a tear jerking scene.
"Lay down your sweet and weary head. Night is falling, you have come to journey's end. Sleep now and dream of the ones who came before. They are calling from across a distant shore. Why do you weep? What are these tears upon your face? Soon you will see All of your fears will pass away. Safe in my arms, you're only sleepingAll souls pass into the West.Don't say we have come now to the end. You and I will meet again, and you'll be here in my arms just sleeping."
I just keep thinking about how I ran down the stairs and we got Zeebo away from her but I knew she was already dead, laying there in my hands, already cooling. Hugging the ziplock with her sad little body in it, waiting in line at the vet's, just crying and crying.
Even finding Gwennie dead and rotten didn't affect me this much. Mostly I was pissed, not that she was dead, but that she was in her nesting box rotting and wasn't removed by the person watching my animals. Not that I didn't cry and grieve for her. But I didn't have the attachment I had to Goober, who was literally an egg in my hands in November 1990 and now a corpse in my hands last month. I bought Gwennie for Lance, because he missed Scarlett so much. She was Lance's bird. In a way, Scarlett was Lance's bird too, but Scarlett was tame and Gwennie wasn't. (Ironic, because Scarlett, like Lance, was wild-caught, and Gwennie was hand-fed.) And for a few years, it was just me, Lance and Scarlett (until Goober hatched) so there was that bond too.
Then again, it's only been a couple of weeks since Goober died. Maybe it's not an undue amount of grieving after all.
By the way, Zeebo's blood tests came back fine. He doesn't have bad kidneys.
12.19.13.3.6 7 Cimi 4 Uayeb--the final of the dead days!
Over the weekend I received a card in the mail from my bird vet. A sympathy card. I didn't get one in August when Gwennie died. I don't know if it's because the place is under new ownership or because I was so very grief-stricken when I brought Goober's sad little corpse in on St. Patrick's Day.I was just getting to the point where I didn't cry every day, and that card set me off.
Friday Lance was very frisky, so when I got home I brought him into the bathroom. He went along willingly so I knew that was what he wanted. He climbed up me, sat on my shoulder, leaned against my cheek and kept headbutting (beak-butting) me and making kisses. I feel horrible for him and Zeebo. They are so lonely. I have an ad online looking for an older female I could put with them. Zeebo is still so nuts I can't handle him at all. He makes kissies at me through the cage and lets me scratch his head a little, that's it. Neither of them are talking much.
The saddest thing is the lack of "goodnight". I still pause every night and say it as I'm going up the stairs, and no little voice answers me. I can't remember if I said it the night Goober died. I say it most nights. I hope I did.
Tomorrow's the Mayan New Year. It's not part of the Tzolkin, that's the Haab, but I do pay attention to 0 Pop (New Year) and the Uayeb and the other seating (0) days. I haven't been able to find any meanings for the various Haab months (either translations or interpertations), and it's that which really interests me in the Tzolkin.
I want to start over new. But I still don't know what I want to do.
My Body Shop business is essentially dead. I've got no parties scheduled. Hardly any reorders coming in. So in a few months when my sales fall below their minimum, I guess I'll just get booted out. I don't know how it works. I don't much care anymore. I don't wish I never started, but I do wish I had more information in advance. I might not have done it, who knows? I didn't make a profit yet. Just more money I can't afford poured into a hole that I thought would turn into a well.
With luck, you may soon be able to buy a mythological pet
This is too cool:
PAOLO FRIL, chairman and chief scientific officer of GeneDupe, based in San Melito, California, is a man with a dream. That dream is a dragon in every home. GeneDupe's business is biotech pets.... He plans a range of entirely new animals—or, rather, of really quite old animals, with the twist that even when they did exist, it was only in the imagination....Their secret is a new field, which they call “virtual cell biology”.
....Each computer starts with a search image (dragon, unicorn, gryphon, etc), and the genome of the real animal most closely resembling it ..... The virtual genomes of these real animals are then tweaked by random electronic mutations. When they have matured, the virtual adults most closely resembling the targets are picked and cross-bred, while the others are culled.....Using this rapid evolutionary process, GeneDupe's scientists have arrived at genomes for a range of mythological creatures—in a computer, at least. The next stage, on which they are just embarking, is to do it for real.This involves synthesising, with actual DNA, the genetic material that the computer models predict will produce the mythical creatures....
You know, I'm pretty stupid.
I read this whole article and sent it to a friend. And then I went to a link where it said this guy also made a goldfish with real gold on its scales. And that article was also dated March 31. Duh.
Today's April Fools Day. And now I notice the scientist's name is an anagram of April Fool.
Sigh.
Okay, you got me. But it's still a cool idea.
